The following is what resonates with me and I hope it encourages people to dive into the text or the audiobook and find what resonates with them.
Chapter 3 – Nosing Out the Facts: The Retrieval of Intuition as Initiation
The journey to accessing or reclaiming our intuition comes with tasks. The story of Vasalisa (p. 77) uses a plethora of metaphors to illustrate the nine tasks to retrieve connection with intuition. Intuition is passed from generation to generation, as Vasalisa’s mother gifts her a doll before she dies. The doll guides Vasalisa on her journey to, through, and back from the home of Baba Yaga, the Old Wild Goddess.
First Task – Allowing the Too-Good Mother to Die
Accepting that the ever-watchful hovering protective psychic mother is not adequate as a central guide for one’s future instinctual life. Taking on the task of being on one’s own, developing one’s own consciousness about danger, intrigue, politic. Becoming alert by oneself, for oneself. Letting die what must die. (p.83)
The too-good mother hovers and dotes, the kind of attention that children need in early development. As we age this protection prevents us from facing challenges that push our development and maturation. Challenges and risks are important teachers. A risk I should have at least pushed for was studying at the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York. I was accepted but told I would not be allowed to go. I couldn’t have made that move without help, it felt impossible, so I let it slip away. In college I should have pushed harder when I applied for internships in New York, reached out more. I didn’t have the nerve to jump into the deep end. I stayed with the too-good mother for too long.
Though the too-good mother must die, she passes down the gift of intuition. It is imperative for older generations to share what we know with the generations after us. They won’t know if we don’t tell them, and we can’t chastise them for suffering when they face situations unprepared. That is our fault, if we equip them, they will survive and thrive like Vasalisa. We inform them and then step back so that another mother can step in to teach how to wield their new power.
Second Task – Exposing the Crude Shadow
Learning even more mindfully to let go of the overly positive mother. Finding that being good, being sweet, being nice will not cause life to sing. Experiencing directly one’s own shadow nature. Making the best relationship one can with the worst parts of oneself. Letting the pressure build between who one is taught to be and who one really is. Ultimately working toward letting the old self die and the new intuitive self be born. (p. 87)
Remember that Wild Woman does not fear the shadows and neither should we. Our gifts may hide in the dark due to suppression of our innate nature. Even the negative aspects have energy we can transform and use to fuel our power. This is a time of non-compliance and some people may cast us aside. Vasalisa’s stepfamily, who send her on the death mission to Baby Yaga’s home, represent the naysayers a woman’s culture can put in her head. Critiques and lack of acceptance can lead us to waste energy trying to be nice or prove ourselves. This cold exclusion pushes us to bring joy back to ourselves.
I was too nice for so many years. Kept most of my opinions to myself, never wanting to ruffle feathers or face rejection from people I care about. It’s disingenuous and at times I lashed out with frustration or didn’t share when I desperately needed to. I tried to prove my worth in a relationship, an utter waste. I know my friends would have supported me if I’d opened up to them. I am grateful for my therapist who was a “guiding light” (p.90) and helped me as I transitioned to a new life. I decided to focus on healing myself.
Third Task – Navigating in the Dark
Consenting to venture into the locus of deep initiation, and beginning to experience the new and dangerous feeling numen of being in one’s intuitive power. Learning to develop sensitivity and relying solely on one’s inner senses. Learning the way back home to the Wild Mother. Learning to feed intuition. Letting the frail know-nothing maiden die even more. Shifting power to intuition. (p. 91)
Vasalisa’s doll is not just a hand-me-down or keepsake, it is the home of her intuition. She’s kept the doll safe and secure, in return the doll completes seemingly impossible tasks. Across human history dolls are revered as holy, used in rituals, and as reminders of personal power (p. 91). They are symbolic of the divinity within women. Dolls are powerful tools of imagination, through them we can wonder, see new places, explore curiosities, and ask questions. Over-intellectualism and disrespect of women’s things mocks their uses.
Barbie is too pretty, too polished, too unrealistic despite her many careers, hobbies, and extensive real estate portfolio. Bratz too “sexy”, too grown, too sassy. Despite being diverse from their launch and connecting with a new generation of girls. My dolls are precious to me, Barbie, American Girl, Magic Attic Club they’ve all either supported dreams I’ve chased or gave me the opportunity to imagine. I am the keeper of my grandmother’s dolls and cleaned up my mother’s childhood life size Patty Pal doll over Christmas.
Real life dolls are reminders of those we cherish and keepers of history, personal and global. Vasalisa’s doll symbolizes the importance of handing intuition down and reinforcing it in children with statements as plain as “You have good judgment. What do you think lies behind all this?” (p.92) Hearing that would have done wonders for me. Unfortunately, due to circumstances, I remember being told I didn’t know anything, out of frustration and short fuses. It’s damaging, how can I trust myself and not question everything I do or think with that in my head?
Speaking positively of judgement, binds a child to their intuition. As they grow, they listen to it, they heed its self-preserving nature. By listening to our intuition, it gets stronger. We feed it by acting on its directive. It keeps us safe and our minds intact. Neglect and disregard leave it, and us, frail, sickly, and susceptible to harm. Intuition belongs to us, it’s a part of us, all we have to do is listen to that first, quick gut feeling and move.
Fourth Task – Facing the Wild Hag
Being able to stand in the face of the fearsome wild goddess without wavering; the image of the fierce mother. Familiarizing oneself with the arcane of the wild. Bringing some of her values into our lives, thereby becoming ourselves a little awed in a goodly way. Learning to face great power – in others, and subsequently one’s own power. Letting the frail and two-sweet child die back even further. (p.94)
The home of Baba Yaga whirls around on chicken legs. It’s alive and active as we should be or we risk neglecting intuition and living a dead life. I want to live a big life, see everything, express myself without fear, share creative projects. I need my intuition to live that life. I have to learn from the wild mother how to destroy and build anew.
Respect this power to make part of it your own. This power replaces the need to be “nice” or “sweet” to stay safe. There are many faces to this feminine power that glides just under the surface, we may use whichever one we need. Society fears this power and has framed her aspects as awful (p. 97). In reality, she is what women need to live full lives and protect ourselves. I will happily be terrifying and strong, standing and living in my inherent divinity.
Fifth Task – Serving the Non-Rational
Acclimating to the great wildish powers of the feminine psyche. Coming to recognize her (your) power and the powers of inner purifications; sorting, nourishing, building energy and ideas. (p. 98)
As we embody this power, we have to care for it. Vasalisa launders Baba Yaga’s clothes because weaving cloth is the work of Life/Death/Life mothers across cultures. Think of the Three Fates and the Spider Woman (p. 99). They teach us what must die, what lives, what to toss out, and what to keep. Washing renews and revives. I take a spiritual cleansing bath every other week. I’ve purchased baths from Iya Osundara and I make my own with a book from Iya Omidele. I always ask for stagnant energy to leave me; I don’t want to carry what isn’t beneficial to me.
Vasalisa sweeps, we work to keep our minds clear. “For many, psychoanalysis, contemplation, meditation, the taking of solitude, and other experiences of descent and transformation provide this special time and place for the work.” (p. 100). Journaling daily, therapy, and writing for the blog help me clear my mind and find the root of thoughts and motivations. Intuition also must be fed. This requires a blazing fire that keeps our ideas, art, and work going. Committing to new ideas and directions keeps the wild force fed.
Do something, anything that you long to do or considered and put down. Consistent action is required: cleanse, keep order, remain vigilant, and create a unique life to remain connected to wild power.
Sixth Task – Separating This from That
Learning fine discrimination, separating one thing from the other with finest discernment, learning to make fine distinctions in judgment. Observing the power of the unconscious and how it works even when the ego is not aware. More learning about life and death. (p. 103)
This power and nature is wild but it is orderly. It’s orderly because it is naturally occurring. Nature has order, no one instructs wildflowers. They grow, bloom, wither, and start over again. Vasalisa is tasked with sorting large piles of fine particles, her doll completes the task as she sleeps. We learn to distinguish deceptively similar things and to recognize different medicine. We have to learn what feeds us and what heals us. I don’t fully understand the tasks here, but intuition can separate the helpful and harmful faster than we can on our own. Follow through on trusting our intuition and the decisive distinctions she makes.
Seventh Task – Asking the Mysteries
Questioning and trying to learn more about the Life/Death/Life nature and how it functions. Learning the truth about being able to understand all of the elements of the wild nature. (p. 106)
The Life/Death/Life cycle is ours. As I read, I view it as change, the only guarantee in life. It is growth, nothing can remain the same. That’s okay, we will be fine. As women/femmes, we should know this, accept, and prepare for change. The issue with people who try to seize power is they think they can make everything stay the same and serve them forever. This is a fool’s errand that never works. Yet they foolishly persist, in their sad, stupid, underdeveloped state.
The inevitable cycle is visualized by three horsemen: black, red, and white. They pull the sun and the night across the sky. Black promises you will learn something new, red promises newness is on the rise, and white promises space and energy to start over and fill the void. An ending is not the end, new life and opportunities will come, and we will have the strength to work with them. Letting live and letting die is a cycle, a rhythm we learn to understand so we don’t fear it and can ride the waves (p.108). We won’t know it all at once but as we live, time and experience teaches us.
Eighth Task – Standing on All Fours
Taking on immense power to see and affect others. Looking at one’s life situations in this new light. (p. 109)
Further separated from the too-good mother, we see with intention and dismiss clowns from the court. If I saw clearly and was connected with my intuition, my last relationship never would have happened. I know now to never hold on with desperation again. Anything that does not want me can go. Intuition must always be consulted, strengthening it allows us to deal with the physical world with authority. We move confidently with new power and a new lens on the world and our lives.
Ninth Task – Recasting the Shadow
Using one’s acute vision to recognize and react to the negative shadow of one’s own psyche and or negative aspects of persons and events in the outer world. Recasting the negative shadows in one’s psyche with hag fire. (p. 112)
This new, immense power is represented by the blazing skull Baba Yaga gives Vasalisa as she sends her back home. We haven’t mastered the power, but acceptance gives us immediate access. Such overwhelming power can tempt us to discard it. Go away from me with this, Apollo. Rose colored glasses are gone and everything looks like exactly what it is. Intuition and power require work to see the negative outside of and within ourselves and to gather the strength to do something about it.
Holding the light is hard, seeing the danger around us and our own shortcomings is painful. Don’t retreat, I won’t retreat because the old opponents don’t have power anymore. They’re reduced to ash just like Vasalisa’s treacherous stepfamily. Energy required to survive them is now used for our purpose. Writing about emotional abuse allows me to move to a place where I don’t have to carry it anymore. The weight of shame drained so much of my energy.
We move forward choosing family, friends, and lovers wisely. The light cannot stay when we are treated cruelly. The people we spend our lives with and learn from must respect who we are and seek to understand to support us. The wrong people will suck the life out of you, you might not even know until the betrayal happens and they show their true face. Intuition will tell you who to keep and who to leave.
How do we choose? By asking ourselves questions. “What am I hungry for? What do I long for? What do I wish for now? What do I crave? What do I desire? For what do I yearn?” (p. 117) I know what my soul craves, and I am willing to search for it. From creative opportunities and endeavors to love. It will be sweet when I get what I truly want. In everything, I will consult with my intuition. Years without her taught me to never bury her again.
Connection with intuition is also strengthened by refusal to let anyone “repress your vivid energies… that means your opinions, your thoughts, your ideas, your values, your morals, your ideals.” (p. 118). We must become one with our inner cycles, learning to let live and let die so that we aren’t crushed by them. We have choices and the power to create at will. At any time we can evolve, we don’t need permission. Put down what you don’t need and go in search of what makes you feel alive.
