The folks at Pixar done did it again. Inside Out (2015) served as entertainment on a flight back home from Puerto Rico in 2016. It was on my list and looked cute, I did not expect to cry in my window seat. When it came time to see Inside Out 2 (2024) I was prepared, especially with Anxiety as a new emotion. I’m always yapping about Anxiety, she doesn’t leave me alone. Sit in your chair and sip out of your mug ma’am.
Anxious to Meet You
The film team provided a new perspective on Anxiety. She’s trying to help. Planning for the future by protecting from the “things unseen”. How sweet, unfortunately she does it all wrong. Over eager and doom focused, everything is the worst-case scenario of the worst-case scenario. Twisting the imagination to project unnerving possibilities, oh I’ve been there: grip fails and I fall off the pole, everyone laughs at my attempt to dance, fumbling over words in a presentation, fumbling leading to disapproval, walking into a new place alone and receiving weird looks. My Anxiety theme may be humiliation.
Drive to hone your craft is an exercise in dedication. Keep promises to yourself and do the work. Wonderful, unless Anxiety obsessively strives for perfection and is too hard on you. Acceptance at any cost is not a healthy motivation. I’ve betrayed myself before, not in liking what someone else likes but in not speaking up for myself. Not wielding the power of my “No”. If I said no or pushed back, they’d be upset. Girl, let them be upset. That is not your problem.
Anxiety almost recognized pushing too hard, she was so close. Her concern for Riley’s wellbeing is sincere, her execution resulted in an anxious sense of self. One that constantly repeated “I’m not good enough”. Anxiety was caught off guard, preparation should have yielded confidence. “I’m not good enough” is all that blares when Anxiety is in control. Nothing I do will work, the effort will fail, everything is wrong and irreparable.
It is a horrible feeling that shuts me down. I haven’t experienced an anxiety attack but the representation of a storm seems accurate especially when we saw Riley’s physical manifestation of it. Doubled over, gasping for air. An agonizing full body experience. The swirl of thoughts and emotion shuts me down. Riley doubled over would look like me doing nothing or giving up. Walking away frustrated, in tears.
Oh Anxiety, my dear, I appreciate your attempt at preparedness but as Joy said, none of the projections are happening now. Keep me on my toes for established future events. Like showcase, let’s stick to the practice outline we’ve created! Anxiety’s energy was helpful before PSO dress rehearsal. I cleaned up my house and balanced my checkbook, tasks I had been avoiding. Procrastination driven, also related to Anxiety. Keep that for the next film.
“Joooooy I know you’re in there”
My chosen fighter will always be Joy. Sneer at her all you want, Ennui called her “so old school”. Joy is one of the pillars for my life. Is she delusional? Duh! How else do you have hope and see possibilities? Believing that better is possible takes a little delusion. The current facts may be contrary, but progress requires convincing yourself it’s possible. Considering present reality alone would break me. I have to believe that life and humanity can improve and treat each other with respect and care.
Joy exists even in darkness. She knows when life is lousy and tries to get it back on track. She can learn to acknowledge the hardship, work with all emotions, and let the light return at an appropriate pace. Joy will always be necessary. When life lacked joy, I betrayed myself. Joy restored zest for life, drive, belief in possibility, and changed my sense of self. Adulthood does not mean joy is useless. The lack of joy seems to lead to a lack of empathy, a lack of consideration for those around you.
People who view joy as frivolous are miserable. They’ll try to zap joy from others. Let a group of friends be boisterous in public, leave people who like things you don’t care for in peace. Expressions of joy and therefore happiness should not offend anyone. The hope of joy leads us to seeing the humanity of other people. Rail against the idea of less joy. Find your joy, cultivate it, and protect it fiercely. Joy understands and learns balance, joy isn’t just happiness but wholeness.
Joy will protect and grow your sense of self. We are complex and multifaceted. We need grace and accountability, self-awareness. Memories create beliefs which create our sense of self. As Crissle from The Read pointed out in “Sense of Self” – July 18th, 2024 – timestamp 1:46:43, Riley is the best case scenario of adolescence. For people with darker or traumatic memories, I imagine defining or redefining sense of self could be tumultuous. Those experiences aren’t your fault and I hope that you have a secure place to work through them and decide who you are.
Little Bit of This, Little Bit of That
For me, I’m between average and best-case scenario on the spectrum. I can recognize where I fall short and my responsibility in unfortunate situations. I am also embracing where I shine. It is all necessary, the good and the bad. I am kind, but don’t suffer fools kindly, curious, a healthy amount of selfish, an ever-evolving daughter, lovingly aggravating older sister, consistent friend, highly self-critical, creative, fiery, can make poor choices, and is easily delighted. I have to confront unpleasant memories and learn from them. Figure out what actually happened and what it means. This practice helps to keep bad memories from forming bad beliefs. It’s all a part, messy and beautiful as Joy says during the film’s conclusion.
While Anxiety tries to help, it can be overactive and overpowering. There are multiple methods to curbing the influence, take full advantage of whatever you need and have access to. Joy is necessary and ever present, even when it’s buried in the back of the mind under thousands of terrible memories. It’s fighting to keep the light burning, to give us the chance to combine and acknowledge all that we are. Sense of self will evolve and become more complex as we live. This is a good thing, how sad it would be if we stayed the same. Keep venturing toward you who will become.
Favorite Film Moments
-Puberty setting off a code red alarm
-The sar-chasm
-Riley dying her bang red, mildly unhinged
-“Who’s creating all of these positive projections-
Joooooy, I know you’re in there”
-Cried when Riley called for Joy with the little balls of light
