Two feelings stirred in me watching Megan Thee Stallion: In Her Words (2024). First, compassion, I want to give Megan a rocking side to side hug. Grief, violent assault, betrayal, and constant harassment dripping with misogynoir are a dangerous cocktail. Second, rage. Toward Tory Lanez for shooting her, Kelsey for betraying her friendship, and every degenerate loser who tormented her. Civilian and celebrity alike, may dread befall you. Megan is a bright and warm light, it’s beautiful to see her once again taking control of her narrative.
Compassion
Holly Pete, Megan’s mother, was her anchor. Ms. Holly taught Megan to demand her respect. Megan respected her in turn and wanted to be just like her. Ms. Holly’s opinion, her advisement, Megan could trust her mom with everything. “Through all that twerkin’ and cussin’”, Megan’s words, Ms. Holly hoisted her daughter toward her dreams. It’s unsurprising that, following the tough decision to remove her mother from life support and her subsequent passing, Megan was adrift, unmoored.
Megan forgot who she was and lost confidence after her mother passed. At the same time, awards and honors began their steady flow. Megan was supposed to experience all of this with Ms. Holly, the fruits of their collective labor. The student and the teacher. Instead, Megan tried her best to find security and connection. She tried to build something that felt good because she was lonely and grief-stricken. But in the words of her father, everything that grin ain’t ya friend.
Harm from people you’ve been vulnerable with is sinister. As Megan recalls the night of the shooting, I’m terrified knowing we could have lost her. Her light snuffed out. I’m so grateful that was not the end of her story. My heart broke hearing her say several things: there must have been signs to know not to trust Tory. “Everybody hates me”, stated twice. Physically present, but far away inside her mind.
“If my mom was here, I wouldn’t be going through this, I wouldn’t know half these people”. Nightmares she refused to vocalize. Performing ramped up her anxiety, someone could try to harm her from the massive crowds gathered to see her on stage. She was waiting for someone else to do something to her. When she was too happy, she wondered “what bad thing is coming”.
Megan never should have felt this way. She didn’t want to feel it, she wanted to be present. Villainized for being a confident, self-possessed, beautiful, sexual Black woman. The kind that isn’t easily accessible. Boldness makes the miserable foam at the mouth. The nearly never-ending pile on made her second guess herself. Megan didn’t hurt anyone, steal, lie, cheat or have a history of cruelty. Just young, fun, and fine. Yet, people tried to humble her in the most baseless ways.
Traumazine (2022) was the beginning of fighting for herself, as I see it. Megan was vulnerable, opened herself up to her feelings. Fighting discomfort, she tried to explain her mindset. She wanted to be understood but didn’t want to be viewed as weak. “I be going through shit, but I be getting through shit” Megan stated. The only way out is through, and the other side brings who you want to be. The work doesn’t guarantee immediate results though. Megan was highly self-critical of her performance on Saturday Night Live, Season 48 Episode 3, where she pulled double duty as host and musical performer. I remember the episode as a triumph, but we’re our own worst critics.
Megan shared feeling like she was losing her mind and needed a break. She was tired of being on edge and acting like she wasn’t. Megan finally took that break, following SNL and a break-in at her Los Angeles home, a month of wellness and therapy. She saved herself. Described her mind as black and dark. Everything was ugly in her eyes. She was lonely, didn’t feel worthy, or that her life had value. She worked with a therapist daily to process the shooting properly. When she reemerges on camera she sounds and looks lighter and healthier.
She acquired the tools she needed. Those tools are how despite the fear of not knowing what would happen with the trial, she showed up for Megan Pete. The path became clear the day she testified. She didn’t have to look strong, she should embrace the sadness, and tell her clear and consistent account. Honest feelings and speech are powerful, dropping shame because you are simply telling the truth.
Rage
Abusers make themselves appear safe, that’s how they creep in. Tory Lanez’s actions are the sole source of his current situation. If he hadn’t shot Megan due to his own ego, the State of California wouldn’t have pressed charges. No shooting, no trial. He and a disturbing number of people on and off the Internet refuse to hold him accountable. These feelings don’t stop at Megan, they’re applied to every woman, femme, and person on the margins they deem unworthy. You all should be ashamed.
You’re the same degenerates and cornballs who belittle her for twerking or claim she “raps about the same things”. Yet, you consistently use the two cotton balls floating inside your heads to argue about relationships, dinner checks, and imaginary children while posting “Thoughts?” on social media every 3-5 business days. You know we can, unfortunately, see you, right? You all contributed to the darkening of her mind and view of herself. What was the reason?
Do your minds activate whenever a woman, especially a Black woman is harmed? What will you gain by claiming it’s all her fault or that she’s a liar? Is your personal misery so deep that you’ll take any opportunity to try and drag someone down with you? Do you think you can dim someone’s light, and they’ll appear on the boxspring next to you?
Who came out to support Tory or antagonize Megan: Joe Budden, DJ Akademiks, Chris Brown, Tucker Carlson, Drake, Da Baby, LeBron James, Diddy. Hit dogs wanted their time to holler at the hydrant. Tory continued his harassment with a disturbing music video. The “HGS Special”, we know what you are. Texting Megan to say you see her on Instagram Live. Trying to force your presence in her life. Violating restraining orders is not a good idea when you’re on trial for violent assault. We heard your jail call, at least feigning remorse would have been wiser.
Kelsey, step forward. Was it money, clout, or attention that turned you? Hitching your wagon to that man seemed like a good idea? There is nothing my best friend could do that would ever make me align myself with someone who caused her harm. I would do everything in my power to tell and support the truth and make sure that person is far away from her. You said out of your own mouth that you wanted Megan to be good. To shed tears over Ms. Holly and then betray her child is soulless.
For anyone still harping on Megan and Tory sleeping together, please mind your own physical intimacy. “He always caught me when I was out of mind” Megan shares in frustration. He took advantage of her when she was intoxicated and that is predatory. Sex is irrelevant unless we’re relating it to Black women and intimate partner violence. “On average, 1 in 3 women experience domestic violence (33.3%)” per the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Fight the urge to excuse violence against women.
The vitriol stems from a hatred of Black women. Hatred of those who are bold, unapologetic, confident, and sure of themselves. Wanting to see them humbled and spewing miserable bile. With nothing to contribute to the collective, they harass those who seem to have everything. They could make something for themselves but that requires facing themselves. Misery seems to be a characteristic they choose to nurture.
Dear Megan
Megan Pete, the women in your life raised a shining star, a constellation. You’re important. You have added to the toolboxes of others to maintain their dignity, self-love, and self-respect. Especially for women, femmes, and our bodies. We’re discussed as if we exist for critique. Even though I’m not tall and thick like you, your words and music lift me. It’s beautiful to hear other Hotties confirm this in the documentary.
Kind, confident, life of the part, unapologetically themselves, that’s your definition of a Hot Girl and that’s you. You never should have had to fight for your mind and wellbeing as you’ve done over the past 4 years. I am so proud of you for taking a hard break and dedicating time to your mental health. You returned with the tools to face a battle you did not create. Fighting not just for yourself but for regular women is a loving act.
You didn’t hide, you confronted pain and fear, in the end justice prevailed. Your tears were a huge release. As if you could finally let go of the weight, it was over. Your rise never stalled; “Cobra” let us know you weren’t holding back. 2024 is truly the year of Thee Stallion: Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest 2024, “Hiss” setting the tone for a reset in hip-hop, the Hot Girl Summer Tour, promoting the 2024 Paris Olympics, Megan and Megan Act II, hosting the MTV Video Music Awards, Hotties for Harris, True Religion campaign, magazine covers, genLOVE Award for Outstanding Philanthropy. Brava sis!
“It’s that part in the movie where I get up off my ass and do something about it”. Thank you, Megan, for being so open. I’m grateful to Nneka Onuorah for making it possible for you to safely tell your story. Megan you’re right, your mom would be so proud. Continue to know that you deserve good things, and you’ll have them. You have the right to be yourself and to your privacy. You are worthy and a joy. Enjoy continuing to learn yourself, every aspect. Megan Pete ain’t no punk ass bitch, you said so yourself.
With Love,
Bri Thee Midwest Pony
