Progress Report #1

This entry is penned from the antithesis of discipline. Discipline without rigidity is a guiding principle but I’m a bit off. Off my writing schedule most noticeably. Haven’t got on it yet but there’s always another day to beat procrastination. Give myself the grace I’ve always withheld. As promised a progress report from the Please, Just Do It to-do list:

1) Read Steal Like an Artist, The War of Art, and The Art of Ruth E. Carter: Costuming Black History and the Afrofuture, from Do the Right Thing to Black Panther.
2) Paint the sky from the photo I took on 1/1. It was the most magnificent blue between the clouds.
3) Read and work through Modern Fashion Illustration: Simple Techniques for Stylish Drawings. I even have a sketchpad with croquis from my director! There are several half-used sketchbooks in my house…
4) Use Saturday and Sunday as main writing days. Monday and Wednesday should be editing and scheduling. The procrastinator can’t keep running the show.
5) Pole freestyling days get in where they fit in but that’s once a week. This might be the hardest one.
6) Complete and send my film resume for review. 

Number one, two out of three are complete! Steal Like an Artist and The War of Art felt like a challenge and a balm. I could see myself, my patterns, my past, and the places I can go. “Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying” The War of Art page 108. A daily noon reminder is set to “do the work”. Per Steal Like an Artist, I’ve started a logbook (page 130) to document the day, what the “work” was, and my mood. I need to be more aware of how I feel according to my therapist. I’m taking my time with Mrs. Carter’s book. Savoring her journey, experience, mood boards, and costume sketches. Also, I’m drafting an email to beg for a job.

Number two, paint acquired in January and painting started a month later. On a rough emotional day, I finally mixed those blues for the sky base. Dinner, sparkling water, and a nice spot on the floor. Sometimes a low point is the right time to finally do the small thing you’ve been avoiding. The next step is to figure out how to make clouds that don’t look like blobs.

Number three, I’ve started! This is a part of the work from number one. Sketching has never been my strong suit. Even with years of art classes, it’s a struggle. I’m finding my style to eventually run wild with garment ideas. Extremely rough sketches are all over the place and soon they’ll have a proper hanger.

Number four, a fail as previously stated. Maybe once or twice, the weekend has served as writing time. How does one tighten up? It’s a new month and tomorrow between activities is a great time to restart. Other helpful tips to self: jot down ideas whenever they come, transfer to a document later, actually open those documents ahead of time and add at will. Much better than starting from scratch every time.

Number five, eight weeks and three freestyles. Returning to freestyling for March and a specific goal for the month, more on that later. Freestyling is hard because I don’t have the comfort and connection to my body yet. Consumed by fears of looking crazy and the phenomena of forgetting everything I’ve ever learned. Seems like the agenda for my next therapy session is set.

Number six, applaud me the resume is complete and reviewed! Remember that begging email draft from number one? I’m sending the resume along with it. Don’t ask me when that will happen. A terrifying thing to consider but the worst response will be no. I can survive that, I’m sure embarrassment will follow but at least I’ll have had the nerve to try.

Big March goal: One pole related thing a day. Training for a July competition starts now. I can sharpen my basics, freestyle, and get more comfortable in my body. A great addition to the daily “work”. Everything is circular, if I compete I’ll want to make another outfit and sketch it out. There’s a connection to every interest and they lean on each other. New month, new goal let’s see where it goes.