Thoughts on the Red Eye is two years old! *cue confetti and peach cobbler a la mode* I will always celebrate the site’s anniversary; it’s my bravest work to date. Writing is one of my great loves. I should have majored in English, at minimum a second major. What an advantage that degree would be now, but realizations come on their divine timing.
Writing brings intrigue and fun; it’s becoming my main focus. I’m open to almost any opportunity to play with words and communicate in new ways. The “almost” draws a firm line; I will not aid a language learning model or use words to benefit the few over the many. That isn’t grandstanding, I simply abhor ignoring creativity, theft, and abuse.
Blue Ivy’s mama said she uses her music to heal herself and shares to heal others. I hope to do the same with sharing my experiences and thoughts. Well, aren’t you ambitious? Yes, and I am learning to push through discomfort with radical honesty. My version of a big life includes being supportive. That is a part of my purpose. I want to support people like me.
Wall flowers, people tired of fearing their own shadow. The damningly critical. The overthinkers. Come in, come in. Sit down, no it doesn’t matter where and yes you can have whatever you like. Yes, whatever. No, that is not too much. Yes, I know you are not asking for that at the detriment of others. You’re tired? Of course you are, so am I. Take a nap and then we can begin.
Here’s what I’ve realized and learned. There is no curriculum or plan. There is only a direction down the path toward honesty. No, I am not calling you a liar. I’m calling you closed off. Yes, it appears easier to keep your feelings, thoughts, and opinions bottled up. Have you considered that the energy expended to keep a lid on that rattling pot is why you are tired?
Finding new hiding places is exhausting. You know you need more space. Me too. This is my lived experience. We must talk more! Or for the first time. We would realize nothing is new and we’re not alone. Your feelings are valid, how we handle them is the issue on the table.
We will question, poke around, disturb what’s buried. It might hurt a little, a dull ache, a sharp pain. Facing myself is not always fun, I don’t always like what I see. Pull the sheet off the pile you’ve been ignoring. We ignore and keep to ourselves, part protection, part fear. What if someone sees us carrying the pile to the pit? Running back to pick up a piece we dropped.
Take the kindling and fuel a different fire. We are quiet but not innocent. Not nefarious but we do possess a certain bite. I don’t know how long self-mastery will take. Approach it a piece at a time, open a box to tend and heal. The aim is to release self-destruction, not seeking perfection but awareness.
I made a safe space for me and welcome you into it. A home for my wonder, questions, and joy. The construction scared me half to death, but I survived it unscathed. Less afraid, more willing to dare. Bold enough to now say I hope that I can encourage others. That we can figure this out together and enjoy ambling down the path. I’m full of hope despite catastrophic circumstances covering the world. I firmly believe that a strong sense of self eliminates the desire to siphon power or to succumb to false authority. Let’s keep doing our work.
The Not So Terrible Two’s
