To My Creative Recesses,
We are one in the same. A slow burn that takes time to heat and ignite. We’ve always been fascinated by everything. Our multitudes need space to express themselves. Write for purpose. Pole for passion. Paint for pleasure. It’s taken longer than we wanted to arrive here. The staining of time wasted, pursuing the wrong degree, and late blooming. But if we apply Nicole’s favorite tool, perspective, we have arrived where we are supposed to be at the appointed time.
We have confronted fear: performed afraid, competed afraid, published afraid, cracked ourselves open, determined to change. The fear isn’t leaving, we do our best in spite of it. Tired of it cancelling our plans. The next obstacle is doubt: is what we think and feel worth sharing? Is it any good? Will it get good? Will it matter? Will it help? Well, Mya said my writing is really good, that people need my words, that my writing is golden and please don’t stop. That it’s breathtaking. That it’s cathartic and accountable for me. I believe that answers all the questions.
Little Bri, the “Head Bri in Charge”, is glad we’ve come back to play with her again. She’s been dangling her legs on the swing set, waiting for us to return. We’ve been occupied, hiding with Preteen Bri, our inner saboteur. She’s in recovery, rehabbing from every critique that made us feel worthless and stunted our growth.
We know better now, release the anger. Now is all we have to work with, the past is lessons, apply the knowledge. They make good stories, odes, and spells. You have so much to say and I have to let you say it. Remind me every day that it means something and it’s worth being shared. It’s likely I will huff and puff, roll my eyes as the flames of self-doubt and self-consciousness use the last bits of oxygen I provide them. I’ve built new beliefs before, It will work again.
We name ourselves, as our revered Masters have. Creator, Artist, Writer, Poet. It isn’t up to anyone but us. Our foundation for life is beauty, freedom, joy, and love. Anything restricting these 4 principles or invalidating their myriad expressions is unnatural. An affront to natural life cycles. An assault on our individual uniqueness that in turn disrupts and destroys our ability to live cooperatively.
Humanity is out of balance, the flow is blocked. We contribute our piece to restore it. This is a group project. Commit to continued honesty and vulnerability, new layers.
Thank you for pushing me to write. For flooding my head with ideas. Because of you, I can say that I’m proud of myself. Proud for starting, proud of taking risks, proud of consistency, proud that I want to continue and expand. To push even further into myself and uncover my truths. By sharing them, I find my people, my cauldron sisters. Word to Tracee Ellis Ross.
We grew tired of moving like a loser and decided to change. Timidly stepping further into our creative expression made the change possible. This good feeling is not fleeting. The height may ebb and flow, but never fully recede. This is our new garden bed. We burrow, plant, and grow. Let’s find out all that we’re capable of. We are exactly who we think we are.
Love,
Bri the Creator
