I surrender to new experiences. I surrender to vulnerability and open my heart to new connections. I do this scared. The only way out is through. I don’t need to fear the unknown that my passion and intuition call me toward. That is where the magic lives. That is where I meet myself.
I am in artistic recovery. I work my steps every day. This is a spiritual journey after deprivation of true desire and calling. Every day, a spirit kept from shining bright. Pushed down or aside for a more practical use of time. So delirious and starved that on weekends and holidays it whirls around before collapsing in a heap with little to show for the effort. I define a God I can work with. I found and believe in her love, kindness and generosity. I accept her help and her direction. I write, dance, paint, travel and enjoy life with her help. She wants me to use my creative energy. It is my purpose, the purpose of the human experience to create and inspire one another.
Many mornings I’m overwhelmed and anxious. It’s a kiddie coaster, the levels aren’t extreme, but I feel them. Breathe deep and remind myself that I am protected and taken care of. I would love to be more regimented, but I need to flow. I worry about doing it “right”. I don’t want to drift into nothingness or squander this time. Unlimited time to build my life. Stick to my schedule, give my best every day. Part of my life focus is creating. I’m learning to live an artist life.
Balance is my life lesson, taking my time and balance. There’s no need to rush to get out of the way. I deserve to take up my space, the area destined for me to inhabit. Sometimes we leave our spaces unoccupied, a piece of the life puzzle missing, a detriment to ourselves and others. We are not meant to be small. We are meant to connect. We are meant to see our similarities, to respect and support. I am learning to bend time. My life is unfolding as needed. My passions and desires are not indulgences; they are the work.
Surrender to the Flow of Life
